I flaunted it… 👙

I paraded around like I was the only person by the pool, and honestly I didn’t realise how confident I’d feel. 

Even after I’d been at the buffet for days, had meals where I chose to eat past fullness, got my period, I chose to flaunt it.

Felt even better when I sat there as my stomach folded over from my excess skin and Ayla pulled at it and giggled 🤭 

I was normalising different bodies

I was showcasing imperfection 

I was sharing beauty in differing ways 

I hid my body away for years.

Wearing baggy clothes and concluding I was more comfortable in swimsuits over bikinis 

Something shifted after becoming a mum. 

My post natal anxiety, going through matresenxe and truly seeing the world through the lens of my daughter.

I started to challenge myself.

Was I really more comfortable? Confident?

Or had I learned to hide myself? To not take up space? 

After being labelled revolting by an ex.

After years of bullying,

Met with years of validation,

I never felt enough.

I’ve never met any beauty standards set,

I’ve had my stretch marks questioned, how many children had I had, before I even had any.

I’ve had my excess skin called, labelled and shamed.

I’ve requested surgery to better myself, only to realise I was simply feeding a system built on shame.

My body has always felt less than

And consequently I always found it easier to hide away. 

As I sat there, on our gorgeous holiday I saw not one body, I saw an array of people, characters,

I saw joy, connection, fun, families,

I saw creativity, play, relaxation.

I saw the world through a lens that wasn’t built on shattering standards that only exist to instil hate on ourselves.

It was then that I realised I was enough. 

I know who I am outside of my body.

I love who I am.

But I can’t deny that little girl within me exists, who from the mere age of 10 was told her body was too big, too much..

I’ve protected her for years, 

Now I’m letting her live.

I wore a bikini.

Quite a significant step.

I even got on stage in it. 

My husband proud and shocked

My daughter just glad mummy was there. 

I paraded around and didn’t give one flying fuck.

My stomach wobbled.

My skin hung over the string.

My thighs touched.

My glutes missing the endless thrusts.

But I didn’t care.

I never once held my stomach in, lord knows that ended some years ago.

I never once felt like I wasn’t good enough.

I knew I was enough

Not because of my body,

Because I value WHO I AM, what I offer the world.

Because I have understanding on the standards, what they mean for women.

Because I care about the next generation not growing up battling with themselves 

I shared beauty in my flaws 

I took up space in a world that still tells me I’m not enough 

I had experiences in my body that are a huge privilege 

I never once cared what people thought, 

Primarily because I don’t care about people’s bodies.

I’ve been slimmer, more toned, but I was an arsehole to be around.

Moody, obsessive, reactive,

And we don’t want to get started on the internal dialogue I had.

Or the fact my food relationship was in shatters.

You see fat loss doesn’t fix your body confidence,

for most it only diminishes it,

You expect to attain some preconceived feeling when you’re smaller but that never arrives.

Instead you question yourself, 

Broken? Flawed? 

When the reality is that’s how they want you to feel.

Shame,

Which rocks your food relationship,

Overeating, 

Weight regain, 

Guilt, 

Cycle continues

Here we BREAK the cycle 🔁 

We stop the loop, our evidence based principles take you off the road of destruction and into one of true health 💛

We pull in strategies that end the war and have you achieve your goals in a calm, peaceful and freeing way. 

No more on/off,

No more body shame,

No more binge restrict cycles,

Ready to truly unleash your bravest self, we have one space open 👇🏻

I'm Ready!