I am an emotional d%$k & maybe you are too? 🍆

Disclaimer - I’m going ALL in on this 🤡 

The loud one

The opinionated one

The fat one 

The ugly one 

The lazy one 

The fitness one 

You name it, and I’ve been coined it at some point in my 35 years existence on this planet.

This week I was the “emotional one”

And lord knows I’ve had that card dealt a few times.

I don’t want to stereotype here, or get all personal, but emotional has always come from men, and men who frankly are far more “emotional” when called out on their own emotions..

Previously, this would’ve ended in a binge, a cascade of emotional eating, and a lot of criticism, towards my body, who I am.

(God bless me in my 20s)

It’s been a week.

I’m not going into details because frankly that isn’t the point.

We all have our own levels of hard, irrespective of circumstances, situations. Hard for you is hard and that’s valid.

I’ve had days where I’ve likely felt the 87 human emotions,

Everyday I’ve had opposing emotions.

I’ve felt so joyful yet so aggravated 

I’ve felt so proud yet so disappointed 

I’ve felt immense happiness and equal amounts of dismay

I’ve been connected, and yet despondent. 

And now in my 30s?

I wear them like a badge of honour. 

Gone are the days of “I’m fine” I’ll suppress my way through this.

Now you ask and you get it?

My friends eye rolling? Listen sometimes I am just fine, it’s neutral 😂

With my feelings this week, I’ve expressed them.

I’m a crier, and even like to look at myself after a good cry.

I’ve been called emotional for crying before…

How reductive when it’s a way of expression 👀 

I like to talk about my feelings,

I’ve been called emotional for being “too much” with how I’ve felt..

How reductive when, again, it’s a way of expressing 👀 

I’ve been told countless times, not to worry, to stop “being silly”

I’ve been asked “why am I so upset”

I’ve been told my feelings are “not valid” 

I’ve been told to “get over it”

Each time impacting my self worth.

Each time confirming a bias I had about myself.

I wasn’t worthy, wasn’t enough.

Food helped me.

While I was being called fat?

Food was supporting my feelings.

While I was labelled lazy?

Binge eating was helping me cope.

While I was termed the fitness one, the one who lost weight?

Binge eating still consumed me, supported me. 

I wasn’t eating because of food.

I wasn’t binge eating because I was broken.

And NOBODY I have ever worked with has before.

We’ve grown up in a world that’s reduced us.

Invalidation.

Being too much.

Too big, too loud, too opinionated.

We’ve been exposed to reductive beliefs

The patriarchy squashing us into associating our worth with our bodies,

Don’t take up space they said 

Don’t have a voice they said

Don’t make a fuss they said 

Don’t have opinions they said

Just be a good girl

Conform

Comply 

Emotions dismissed 

Needs never met 

Food becomes a coping strategy

It can bring the thing you’re missing in life

It can fill a void

Not always a “negative” emotion, while I don’t like to label them it helps to understand.

Sometimes it brings joy, relief, rest.

Sometimes it’s the one thing you do for yourself.

This week hasn’t ended in a binge.

Quite the opposite.

I’ve not even had any food noise, along with my luteal phase some may assume that’s a miracle.

It’s not.

Not when you acknowledge the work I’ve done and continue to do.

One of the main reasons I hate the dieting space right now, simplifying health, reducing it to fat loss again, not supporting the longterm behaviour change of overcoming overeating.

I’m emotionally resilient 

I wear and express every single emotion.

and while this week I’ve been labelled “an emotional shit” 

It’s not affected me…

Why?

Because I’m aware, because I’m compassionate.

Is it my fault someone is triggered by an emotionally available person? Nada.

Is that person doing the best they can with what they know? I guess so, but please let’s do better.

Had I suppressed my feelings, I’d have been back in binge eating.

It was after all a coping mechanism for me.

I’d have been back to shit talking myself, blaming myself.

That’s not resilient, that’s not compassionate?

Sure things have been happening in my life, but really it’s around me. 

Emotional intelligence isn’t spoken about enough but it’s a fundamental to healing your food relationship and over coming overeating.

Understanding your feelings

Labelling your feelings

Building awareness 

Different tools to support you, to cope.

That stress? That I’m fine?

Then the trigger of overeating, binge eating.

What if you were more than stressed and less than fine,

Exploring your feelings;

I’m angry, I’m frustrated, I’m despondent” 

What else might you need outside of food?

You aren’t self sabotaging by stress eating.

You’re doing all you know.

Here we bring new pathways, new ways of navigating your messy life without the constant noise with food, the fear, and tethering on the edge. 

Here we truly end emotional eating, overeating.

Not by squashing your feelings

By facing them head on

By taking up space

Having a voice

Knowing you are enough

Because you are

You always have been. 

Ready to finally overcome your emotional eating? We have space open!