“I feel guilty when I rest” ”I keep myself busy with things to do so I don’t think about food” ”I never seem to get my to-do list done” ”I have a never ending list of tasks I always need to do” ”Resting makes me anxious”
Relatable right?
Of course, because you’re only human and we have been accustomed in society to associate rest with a negative behaviour.
But is it really negative? And what are you sacrificing for yourself with this high level of output? Is that healthful and helpful for you? Or is that hindering?
And now you’re a chronically exhausted walking human, held together by caffeine and dry shampoo, projecting outwardly at your husband for not putting the bins out, your children haven’t moved their shoes and you just face plant the chocolate.
Because you are done in….
But you’re not emotionally eating, absolutely not.
You just need a break?
Now the dogs messed on the floor and you’ve got to clear it up and Karen will be over in 10 minutes to get you to go to the Zumba class because “no pain no gain” and god forbid you say no to anyone, absolutely not.
Infact you may now replicate Churchill, you know the nodding dog.
Say yes to everyone,
Don’t forget Bobs shopping tomorrow too.
Gosh aren’t you a hero for having it all together 🫣
I’ll stop with the comedy and get somewhat serious now, because the reality is you are exhausted and you are probably over stimulated and you are overworked.
And doing anything for yourself feels crazy, uncomfortable, unproductive..
You know why it feels that way? Because you don’t value the importance of rest, maybe its an education thing in that you don’t understand the importance of rest, I knew I once didn’t either,
Rebecca in her 20’s was that of said nodding dog aka yes girl, relied upon by everyone, expected of by all.
I did that to validate myself,
I wanted to feel like I had a purpose,
I wanted people to like me,
Throughout my years dieting, I believed the only thing I had going for me was what I could do for others (I know this witty humour was locked away for all those years) I was wrong, so wrong, and everything I was doing was at 50% capacity, because I was exhausted.
Looking back, it was a behaviour I had inherited from my father, the alpha of the family, a fixer, the one you can rely on.
Frankly he’s over worked, over stressed and could do with reading this too, but family are a different ball game.
I had zero handle on my eating, I was eating because I was exhausted and wasn’t ever attaining this “validation” I was seeking in my output,
Overeating can be triggered by what we associate with output. Many, like I did, associate “output” with our worth, “doing” as a way to validate, this therefore can impact your ability to relax.
Feelings of relaxation can bring feelings of loss of control, discomfort, anxiety, uncertainty, many dislike rest not because of the rest but because of these feelings, therefore avoiding rest to avoid these feelings.
Rest is crucial to overall wellbeing, it is not a luxury rather a necessity.
“But Rebecca I have no time to rest”
Yes you do - And each time you put something above yourself you confirm that thing is more important than you,
Is the ironing really more important than you? Is cleaning the skirting boards more important than you? Is that one email that can wait until tomorrow more important than you?
Or is it that this has become a coping mechanism for you now and the thought of rest sends you into a frenzy….
So you avoid, much like I do with my previous boyfriends,
However the avoidance and lack of rest impacts further on mood, energy levels and behaviours, the body needs to rest and when it isn’t met it can be sought out in overeating or loss of control with food.
You don’t crave food because you’re broken, You don’t struggle to lose fat because of your metabolism, even if you are peri-menopause, the metabolic rate doesn’t crash despite what your favourite influencer tells you… (Its a marketing gimmick trust me, evidence based you see)
But it could well be that you’re finding your journey largely draining because you aren’t resting and you find rest wild.
Those quotes above 👆 all taken from clients I am working with when we are exploring rest and the association with rest,
Parents with children, Entrepreneurs, NHS Heroes, School Teachers, Financial Directors, Therapists,
All have the same association with output, you see the realm of dieting have pushed onto you that it’s just calories, reps and steps, and whilst these have a place in a healthy life, calories do matter, exercise is importance, movement is essential the puzzle of health is multifaceted and hugely dimensional.
“But Rebecca do you not have a supplement to help me rest”
Shockingly no,
And no, your diet will not fix it either, but its likely you have a poor dietary intake which will impact rest, not because of the food itself but because you feel pre-occupied by food, guilty when you overeating, lacking energy, high cravings, and choices that are “quick easy and less nutritious”
“If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit.” — Bansky
How many times have you quit because you’re tired….
Quit because it gets too much….
How about reframing rest now, it’s a necessity to living in line with values, increasing productivity, supporting mood, energy, performance, goals and living a present life.
You’re giving 50% of you now in a restless state,
Imagine how much you can give in a restFUL state,
And imagine what you could achieve if you did give yourself that break,
Whilst it’ll feel uncomfortable, holding value in your worth is the most powerful tool you can have for sustaining a healthy relationship with your body and food.
Take a listen to the below 👇 Podcast Episode on rest, how it further impacts your health, and have to start implementing more restful changes into your life.
And if you relate to this, and want to take the next steps to a thriving life where you breathe a breath of fresh air from diet culture, banish the years of yoyo dieting, reconnect back to your body, live a more present, mindful life my coaching details are below.
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