One of my biggest dieting mistakes 🚩

Joyful baking with my baby girl, inclusive, freeing, peaceful ❤️

I was wrong… 

Not as wrong as Joe Wicks but frankly I’m bored of him now. 

For years I got it all wrong, which inevitably kept me stuck battling with my body, myself and food.

For years it increased shame, guilt, dichotomous thinking, and lowered my self worth, self confidence, self esteem.

And maybe you’ll relate to this (insert name) 

I thought my body was an issue,

I thought I was broken, less worthy, 

I thought I was unattractive, to the eye,

I thought I was not acceptable,

I thought I was disgusting, an embarrassment.

Both at my biggest and smallest…

It wasn’t subject to any size. 

It was linked to the belief I had about “beauty, perfection, and weight bias” 

It was tied to objectification and not to health.

It was linked to diet cultures narrative, the patriarchal system about women.

Shrink, disappear, be perfect, don’t have a voice, no feelings.

Be a good girl they said. 

But be small,

Don’t be angry,

Look perfect, 

Earn enough but never more than him. 

I compared, criticised and fell into body image dissatisfaction and disordered eating behaviours.

I hated my body.

It was genuinely like I wanted a new one at times, as if I could request a refund on my Tesco weekly shop. 

Not this one thanks, any others 😳 

I spend years trying to diet her away, with no success. 

Dieting to fix myself, 

Dieting to feel worthy,

Dieting to achieve a sense of belonging, of acceptance, of confidence

And while I succeeded at shrinking myself,

I FELT NO DIFFERENT ⚠️ 

Why did I still hate my body?

Why did I still fear food?

Why was I still binge eating? 

Confirming a bias I had, at 140kg and at then 53kg…

I must be broken 😞 

And then it hit me.

The realisation of these beliefs, of my actions, my behaviours. 

That I had a cascade of rules that I’d claimed..

They weren’t mine, they were adopted, and I was stuck in a system that was literally pocketing off my disordered eating, my body shame. 

I dieted for the wrong reasons

While many still celebrate my weight loss, it was disordered.

It wasn’t done in a healthy manner, with any of the tools, behaviours and mindset that I’d consequently developed to support me maintaining that loss.

If I’m honest, even carrying higher body fat levels, fat loss wasn’t right for me at that time, but it was all I knew, all I was told, from the media, medical professionals, peers, lovers, family.

But actually in dieting from a “fixing” point complete with guilt and shame I only perpetuated my binge eating, body image issues.

Dieting fixed nothing.

Because I was never broken.

But I’ll be honest, weight loss was important to me, from a health perspective, coming from a bloodline that suffers heart problems, it would improve the quality of my life and reduce risk of illness, I can’t deny that.

However, it didn’t have to come with more body shame, more guilt.

It wasn’t a me problem. More a method problem.

I fell into every disordered fad out there….

I haven’t sustained my weight loss with my fat loss, I’ve done so with my food, body and SELF relationship. 

It’s meant I had to sit with a mirror and recognise all the times I was wrong,

About food, my worth, my body.

I realised no body is perfect

I recognised no body is more worthy

I broke free from weight bias and discriminating, stereotyping beliefs (because imo that’s what they are)

I ended the shame, the guilt. 

I found a place where I can trust myself with all food, making rocky road on a Tuesday with my daughter.

I found trust in my actions, a connection with her.

I found acceptance in my decoration, peace with my imperfect flaws.

And realised how much I had to offer this world OUTSIDE of my body.

How much of a life there is outside of constant fixation on food.

That within her there is a character, a soul, a life, joy, creativity..

And so much more!!

How wrong was I….

But how cool is that…. 

And it’s something I want for each and every one of you. 

The industry is becoming more disordered than ever, more ludicrous claims, false narratives that are increasing disordered eating and taking you further away from a place of freedom, peace, inclusion. 

If you’re ready to be wrong about your beliefs and finally make peace with food and your body for life, here’s the honest, compassionate, evidence based space for that ❤️

And if you’re reading this, relating to the struggle of yo-yo dieting and unsure on your next step, take a listen to the latest episode of the podcast, in identifying if fat loss is right for you right now. 

Is fat loss right for me 🎙️