How I ended my food addiction!

I genuinely believed I was addicted to food.

Growing up I was never interested in alcohol that much, my friends out drinking all night, I was the “designated driver” the people pleaser within me, wanting people to like me, accept me, believing I was somewhat less worthy because of my body, so always at service to others. 

Looking back, maybe it’s because food played such a part in my life. 

I remember feeling like food controlled me, like it had a voice, it would call me.

I couldn’t go to a shop without buying the share size bar of chocolate.

And the having to dispose of the evidence from my secret eating.

I couldn’t do my shift in the market, during my teens, without getting a pick n mix, a pastry, and grab bag of crisps.

I did what they told me to though.

I lost weight, 

Sought out thinness in hope of “fixing” myself.

Find confidence in a smaller body they said.

Feel better in yourself when you’ve shrunk your body then affirmed.

Truth is, that noise continued and actually that suffocation felt louder than ever in a smaller body!

Now it wasn’t just shops that had a hold on me, 

I couldn’t go out for food, 

I didn’t dare eat at families houses.

I dismissed social events, 

I removed food, avoided it,

But found myself still binge eating, still in the shops, doing late night cinemas to “get my fix” 

Because even in a smaller “societally acceptable body” I still felt like food controlled me.

Worst bit was, people validated me, asked me about my motivation, my willpower, praised my dedication.

All while I felt like a fool inside. 

Food had taken over my life.

Body fat levels aside it was the driver of my actions, always at the forefront of my mind. 

I was feeding a multibillion dollar industry that profited off the guilt and shame I felt daily, that ruled my life. 

I led with criticism, fear, uncertainty. 

Looking back though, I don’t regret it, it’s shaped who I am today.

I grieved the times I missed out on, the memories, the fun, the joy, the connection. But it gave me courage to change.

I had to change,

I didn’t want food to rule my life anymore.

There was something missing throughout my diet, 

It wasn’t until I worked on my food relationship and this FUNDAMENTAL element that I was able to no longer feel like a food addict.

Where I am able to trust myself around all foods,

Where I can go to a buffet, say yes and no,

Where chocolate can be kept in the house for months, and I forget it’s even there (like the Easter egg I’ve found in October)

Where I can spontaneously go out for food at any point without second guessing my decision,

Where I can eat any food without moral judgement, without guilt.

Where I can push past fullness and know it isn’t a failing on my part, but part of being human.

Where I know I’m worthy of all foods and trust myself around all foods.

Where I have the confidence they promised me in weight loss that never came.

And actually in attaining this I REGAINED weight, but that’s for another day.

I have food freedom. 

Where food no longer occupies my headspace, where it’s stopped taking up unnecessary space.

It’s been normalised for you to constantly spend your waking hours thinking about food,

It’s not normal,

And you may feel like I once did, an addict.

The reality is, you aren’t addicted, nor are you broken, you have no freedom.

The prospect of food freedom put the fear of god in me, I believed I’d never stop eating, lol I was wrong again. 

I want to help you get to this place of freedom, calm, inclusion and peace, which is why I devoted my time this week to a podcast that helps you;

• Understand what food freedom is 

• How food freedom supports you 

• What you can do to start attaining freedom

It’s all available here:

Listen Here!!

I’d love to hear how you get on, please do like and share the episode, tag me in your socials and send me any questions you have.

Here we bring you the principles for sustainable health, in a compassionate, honest, inclusive and evidence driven way.

Have a lovely day.

Love Rebecca x