There are a few things you should be avoiding if you do want a healthful and happy life;
Red Flags
The Patriarchy
Getting involved in someones drama
Always saying yes
Living in the past
Unrealistic Expectations
Neglecting your needs
Suppressing emotions
Worrying about the future (lols 😂 I need this reminder on the daily)
Just to name a few……….
But what about the food you should be avoiding?
Arghhh yeah, of course, I apologise, because you’ve spent a myriad of years in the dieting realm and now have many beliefs that certain foods are “bad’ and they should be avoided in order for you to be successful!
Foods you should avoid;
Food that you don’t like or have an allergy too.
So of course, the title was clickbait, forgive me, but I needed to get you in here, to help you see that avoiding the chocolate (or insert trigger food) is not the answer or an approach that is going to be of benefit.
Trust me, Gained the disordered eating, Recovered from the binge eating, And battled with the same many years ago.
Avoiding food will have the food always own you, You should only be avoiding your asshat ex, Not the food you do actually love,
But I get it, you fear eating the food, because you believe you will overeat the food, You hold many years of this belief, you even have evidence to back up your claim, each time you eat the food you overeat it, It’s all you know right now,
I was exactly the same, told myself I’d always overeat the hobnobs, especially the dark chocolate ones, if I was near them, Told myself I would always demolish a large Dominoes pizza and a bag of Giant Buttons straight after…
So guess what I did, exactly what I told myself I would, because nobody was telling me I was wrong, not even myself.
I’d eat to a point I felt physically sick and physically in pain with how full I was, You know what I mean when I say the mental despair was unbearable.
I blamed the food, And many dieting methods suggested “removing the food” Remove the food out your house (by this I would eat it) Ensure you aren’t exposed to it.
So I did avoid it, like that asshat ex who screwed my life as much as the binge eating for probably as many years,
Shockingly however, I couldn’t avoid it for long, We live in a world of food abundance, I had money, and a whole lot of emotions that were suppressed with food, And the food would be in my environment, So I’d eat it, despite telling myself I “shouldn’t be eating this”
I was convinced I had no willpower, I had no mOtIVaTiOn, I was ‘addicted’ to food, I had no self discipline, I was destined to be like this forever.
I was wrong, and so are you.
The issue isn’t the food, and rarely if ever is food the problem
The issue is the story you tell yourself from years of dieting mishaps thrown your way from unhealthful approaches and you avoiding the food like the plague. Which is one of the main reasons I created the Thrive with Life Method and coach 00’s of people to a peaceful and calming food world.
Chocolate is not the plague.
Incorporating trigger foods into a diet can seem daunting, I get you, scary to begin with, you hold many limiting beliefs around certain foods and the exposure you assume will send you into a frenzy of overeating.
But to get to a place of food freedom, food neutrality, where these foods no longer have a hold on you, where they no longer talk to you, where you can trust yourself with these foods you have to begin working through incorporating them into a balanced diet. Just keep avoiding your ex, not the chocolate.
Removing food from your diet, avoiding food increases the novelty of these foods and does exacerbate an all or nothing response, its inevitable that you will overeat them, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
If you’re avoiding and labelling foods as being “bad” you’re heightening the desirability of these foods and feeding the abstinence violation effect.
Example, I used to avoid hobnobs because “they’re bad” but it was inevitable i’d be exposed to these foods and because they are delicious i’d have one but then my brain was triggered into the thoughts of “bad, failing, guilt, *shame”
*Corroding the very part of my capable of change, thanks Brene!
The minor violation of eating one triggered my brain to go ‘might as well eat it all’ because of the associated language of this being ‘bad’ and the avoidance.
Abstinence violation effect leads to extreme behaviours during a lapse, causing that assumed frenzy of overeating.
It’ll feel counterintuitive to you because avoidance and restriction has been somewhat comforting for you, but that doesn’t mean it’s right, you’ve got to begin including all foods in your diet and banishing the labels and categories you hold onto.
Remember you have a choice, you can choose to take these labels and destructive methods forward or you can choose to leave them here and begin exploring a path of food freedom, food satisfaction and food enjoyment.
Imagine when Christmas comes this year, even Halloween, you’ve got food gifts, childrens sweets, chocolates, you can feel confident around those you know…
Confidence around these foods has to be learned and developed, confidence is a skill, the more you practise the more you develop.
Consider the food you’ve been avoiding, and now commit to these below, screenshot this for the week and tell me how you get on.
Strategies to begin doing so;
Eat the food when you are not hungry, say after breakfast when you are full and satiated, not leaving them for your usual ‘9pm’
Remove distractions, turn off the TV sit fully present and engage in the eating behaviour, slow hour eating down, honour the taste, smell, texture, enjoyment,
Reflect on it, how did it feel, how has it left you feeling, now set intentions for the rest of the day, what are you now going to action?
Listen to the below episode on food avoidance to help you even more
Cannot wait to hear how you get on! And if you’re ready to start your journey I’ve got three spaces left to make the last quarter of the year your best one yet! Drop me an email back or follow the below link for an open chat about your goals and the invaluable support I offer. It’ll change your life, just like it has for this legend this week 👇
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